Comments Welcome!

I started my blog for me. I wanted to tell my story in a more permanent way, but never really had intentions of sharing it beyond a few close friends. However, it became apparent that sharing it was indeed the next step of my story. Since sharing it, I have received phone calls, emails and texts from friends and family either lending support or divulging their own stories. I have felt so honored to be trusted with these sentiments.

I feel that the next step in my blog is to create a space for readers to share their thoughts and feelings about particular posts. I ask myself many questions throughout this blog, and I try to leave the post with a question for you to ponder. My hope is that through my own thinking and processing, I can connect with the feelings of others and quietly remind them they are not alone. Sometimes knowing there is another person experiencing similar feelings is very validating, or so I have found.

If you wish to contribute to my story through your comments, I only ask that you write with compassion. We are all fighting our own fight. I hope that we can all connect with each other more and feel encouraged and loved through our own vulnerability. Let’s be brave together.

WTF do you want to share?

Giving Thanks

Today as we gorge ourselves on amazing food, cheer for (or against, in my case) the Eagles and reconnect with family and friends we will be reminded of all the wonderful things in our lives. We will express gratitude towards our health, the loved ones surrounding us, and perhaps our fruitful careers. It’s easy to be thankful for all the positive parts of our lives; they bring us joy and fulfillment and make the bad parts feel not so bad. However, I am learning that it’s important to be grateful for the messy, ugly and painful parts of life too. It is in these moments that we are pushed to grow and evolve, and that is really something to be thankful for.

Here is what I am grateful for this Thanksgiving:

The deeply challenging and productive work I have been doing in therapy- my sense of self has never been stronger.

The courage to have conversations that really matter and the better understanding of the implications of such conversations- this is a recent discovery that I think my friend Lizzy would be very proud to hear. :)

My friends and family who have continued to accept me as I am.

The possibility of change and the fear and excitement that accompanies it.

The acceptance that not all things go according to our plans.

Small surprises and the joy they bring, even if fleeting.

My physical reaction to anxiety- while painful, it reminds me that I am here and present and living through my growth. On the contrary, when I am feeling great I know that I am doing something right.

My blog for being my heart on display- I am so grateful for the connections and conversations that have started from this space. I am so honored to have touched some of you with my story.

Lastly, I am grateful for this journey- in troubled times we learn how much we know, how deeply we care and how much strength we possess.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours <3

WTF are you thankful for?

Patience Is A Virtue

I find myself evaluating words lately.  The stories we tell and the words we use in them are instrumental in the way we think about ourselves.  I’m striving to pick the best words. Today’s word is patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.  For me, the most noteworthy part is “without getting angry or upset.” Without that piece, patience could be seen as, “Sure, I’ll wait until I can’t handle it anymore.” Cue my last word, selfish.

So what does patience look like? It looks like acknowledgement. It looks like a friend sitting next to you with a hand on your shoulder, silently being there to support.  It sounds like someone saying, “I hear you, I understand, take your time, I’m here with you.” Patience doesn’t come with a deadline or an exasperated comment. Patience doesn’t come with a plan to fix. Truthfully, it sounds f*cking difficult to do. But offering true patience might be the greatest gift we can give to someone in pain, and to ourselves.

I’m trying to practice patience as I continue to care for myself. I find the quiet moments in the day are the best- crawling into a blanket with a cup of coffee and a journal instantly ease me. I am trying to be at peace with my own process. I am accepting my own suffering. There is no plan, there is no designated next step. There is no way to speed along the process, and there is no need for someone else to step in and try to make it all go away. It wouldn’t be right or fair. This journey is mine.

WTF can you do to be more patient with others?