I find myself evaluating words lately. The stories we tell and the words we use in them are instrumental in the way we think about ourselves. I’m striving to pick the best words. Today’s word is patience: the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. For me, the most noteworthy part is “without getting angry or upset.” Without that piece, patience could be seen as, “Sure, I’ll wait until I can’t handle it anymore.” Cue my last word, selfish.

So what does patience look like? It looks like acknowledgement. It looks like a friend sitting next to you with a hand on your shoulder, silently being there to support. It sounds like someone saying, “I hear you, I understand, take your time, I’m here with you.” Patience doesn’t come with a deadline or an exasperated comment. Patience doesn’t come with a plan to fix. Truthfully, it sounds f*cking difficult to do. But offering true patience might be the greatest gift we can give to someone in pain, and to ourselves.

I’m trying to practice patience as I continue to care for myself. I find the quiet moments in the day are the best- crawling into a blanket with a cup of coffee and a journal instantly ease me. I am trying to be at peace with my own process. I am accepting my own suffering. There is no plan, there is no designated next step. There is no way to speed along the process, and there is no need for someone else to step in and try to make it all go away. It wouldn’t be right or fair. This journey is mine.

WTF can you do to be more patient with others?