I’m struggling between two opposing thoughts:

I don’t owe anyone any type of explanation.

And...

If I say and own my story, no one can use it against me.

Where do I draw the line? What am I afraid of? Judgement? Failure? Perceived failure by others?

But this begs the question: if the difficult choices of our lives, while they may be uncomfortable for some or counter to society’s expectations, leave us happier, healthier and more fulfilled, could we really have failed? Wouldn’t it be much more of a failure to not change that which causes us pain? Isn’t a life lived without beautiful experiences, missteps and triumphs, goals, and partnerships the real failure? Wouldn’t we have failed if we didn’t choose to be brave? To stare the uncomfortable conversations in the face and have them anyway?

To me, that is the true failure. Not living boldly, not taking care of ourselves, not chasing our dreams, not creating the life we want and deserve. I’ve learned quite a bit about myself over these past few months, and a smidge more about life too. The most important thing I learned is that we have an obligation to ourselves first, our happiness, our wellbeing, OUR life. When you are truly connected to yourself, your goals and your dreams, you start to see what and who is important. You cut out the bullshit and drama, and you start to get real with yourself. Your expectations rise, your focus begins to sharpen, you become more decisive, more confident. You become a better you. And when you are a better you, it manifests itself in other parts of life. You see people, places, and relationships differently.

"Your vibe attracts your tribe."

Not everyone can be in your tribe. That’s ok. You can’t please everyone, and soon enough you won’t care about that either.

And once you get to this beautiful unfuckwithable stage, the idea of failure doesn’t exist. Because how could it? How could one have failed when after a major life event, they come out with more insight, more empathy, and more knowledge about themselves?

I think I found the answer to my internal struggle.

WTF are you struggling with?