Weeks leading up to my departure to California, there was only one thought in my head. Like a carousel, going around and around, it never stopped. I envisioned my feet hitting the ground in sunny Orange County, and I would know I had made it:

“The first day of the rest of my life.”

That’s a bit of pressure filled statement, but to me it honors the magnitude (for me) of my actions. A few months ago I decided that I needed to leave coaching earlier than expected. I had every intention of staying until my school start date, but the environment was simply too toxic. I had received an offer to come to California in January to help my dear friends with their transition from 1 to 2 children, and I happily accepted their offer and decided to stay longer.

I started researching birth centers and midwifery practices, following only what looked interesting and what Google uncovered. I found a wonderful women’s health practice and applied to their doula training program. With no guarantees of employment, I started telling my family, friends, and job that I was moving to California. I knew this was what I was going to do; it was going to work. I needed it to work.

Eventually my mom asked me, “Do you think you’re going to get it because you’re qualified or you just feel you will?”

Honey. We know that answer. (There was never a doubt in my mind.)

And here I am, writing to you from California, one week after my soft move. I landed in my beautiful friend’s home, a mere 6 days before the bundle of joy came, and eager to see what lies ahead of me. With the soundtrack of W.E. playing in my ears (my go-to music for writing), I can only close my eyes and smile about the way these last few months have played out. I want to say I am lucky, but that wouldn’t be fair to the journey I have decided to carve out for myself. Everything has been done with intention.

This idea of CREATING OUR LIFE...sometimes it feels lofty and glossy, like a beautiful image on Pinterest that you pin but know you will not get around to trying. Or perhaps you’ll try and it just feels tedious (like blow drying crayons on a canvas...has anyone tried that one?!). But. But, if we can find it in us to just *believe* we can, if we can put away the layers of doubt, shame, pessimism, and worry, then maybe we can actually create the life we want. Intentionally, thoughtfully, authentically. I know I am striving for that now, for the first time in awhile.

So yes, this is the first day of this part of my life. But everyday can be the first day, if that’s when we decide to believe we are capable of anything.