**Additional note: This was written many, many months ago at a time when I wasn't able to fully express where I was in life. I thought a post like this would have been too revealing and I wasn't ready. Now a year later, I'd like to share these thoughts.**

What is momentum? I like the simple definition of mass in motion. Depending on the size of the object, momentum can be easily built or it could take time. A larger object is likely to be more challenging to slow down versus a smaller one. I remember being in Driver’s Ed calculating the time it would take for a car to stop versus a truck. We could apply this to people- one person’s momentum could be slowed more easily than two people’s or a group’s collective momentum. There is power in numbers- united we stand, divided we fall.

So I think about this in regards to relationships too. Clearly two people working to create momentum in a relationship is going to be far more effective than just one person doing the work. The momentum doesn’t always have to be constant, but it should be that underlying pulse in the relationship, the low rumble beneath the noise of everyday life.

I’ve started seeing relationships less about love, romance, “rainbows and butterflies” and more about the idea of creating a life and world between two deeply connected souls. What exactly connects these two souls? What are truly the ties that bind us together?

Shared outlook towards life/family/goals

Common desire to help the other carry out their dreams

Belief in each other’s strengths and abilities

Consistent teamwork

Support and encouragement, and constructive criticism when necessary

Open, honest, and proactive communication

Shared philosophies, morals and values

Alignment in drive, purpose, and ambition

I know this is nothing new, I know other people think this, and maybe some don’t. Maybe this is just another step into adulthood too. I’m sure most successful couples will tell me, “Yes! That is *exactly* what it’s all about-what did you think before?!” Call me crazy, naïve, whatever but I’m just figuring this out now:

Love is not enough. We need love in action to create momentum in our lives as we work towards our common goals and achieving our dreams.

Relationships should build and grow. They won’t grow always at the same rate; they will slow or regress at times. But at the end of it all, I think we should be looking for overall positive growth. We should be seeing momentum build. It is when we have this momentum that we can weather the storms. The flow and movement will carry us over the bumps, regardless of their size.

WTF are you doing to build momentum?